I cry at night

I spent time writing a book called Confessions last night. It was so hard for me. It is about the twelve years I spent on a mountain top going to private school. I lost a dear cousin William not long ago. I will never forget him. We both went to MCA together and even though he was younger than I became close. He danced with me at our school dance. MCA is gone now just like William.
I cried last night quietly so no one could hear. I struggle sometimes with depression. It seems I do all my crying at night.
It is healing for me. I always feel better after words. If you cry too let me encourage you to reach out after you get done crying. Don’t stay alone in your hurt and anguish.
Sometimes our family and friends forget to be there for us. I list my father to suicide and father’s day is hard for me. Today I needed support but they all are too busy or forgot how I get this time of the year.
My family has gone Dingwall in me (see post on other blog). Actually a lot of people have. So I am going to be putting more time into writing and both of my blogs. Officially I am in hiding for a while. 🙂 
But I will be here for all of you. Depression can use life against you. Every drama can steal your joy and peace. It can make living hard, but we can find strength to keep going in simple things.
This blog is one for me and my children another. For some it is church and faith. Hang in there everyone who cries at night.
You are not forgotten!
I pray for joy, peace and hope. Pray that our tears will turn to joy. May God hold us close as we mourn and toil against depressive feelings and thoughts.
God bless you all!


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